Hey everybody!
As you may (or may not) have noticed, I have ceased posting the segments from my old “Revelation of Narnia” story. It appeared that it was not getting much viewership so I decided to just stop posting it. Of course, if anyone still wants to read the rest of it, I can resume posting it, but for now it has been canceled.
What I’m about to post here isn’t a particularly new project, however, I have been steadily revising it so it feels new. Below will be the new prologue for the novel that I’ve been writing for about a year and half now. I have already completed the first rough draft and am in the process of editing/revising/writing the second draft right now so that’s kinda exciting!!
Anyway, please let me know what you guys think about this! The feedback would be wonderful and it’s an important part in any stage of writing! I need to know what potential readers are going to think!!
A nearly full waxing moon cast a milky glow on the streets of a northeastern Minneapolis county on a cloudless April night. Streetlamps poured out pools of orange light on the sidewalks as if invisible umbrellas kept the pavement dry of the darkness.
In the center of a small community on the east side of the Mississippi River, a large school slept, surrounded by a sparse grove of trees. A light, warm breeze wove its way through the leaves, rustling them as a feminine silhouette approached the main entrance.
Making her way onto the main path from the sidewalk lining the boundaries of the school property, she ascended a short flight of stairs to the slightly elevated front doors. Grabbing ahold of the door handles, she pulled, but was met by the familiar stifled slamming thump of locked bolts. Briefly she paused as if she were unsure of what to do. However, with only a split second of mental deliberation, she withdrew two slender steel pins from her short dark hair and proceeded to pick the lock.
In only moments, she cautiously slipped inside the building, careful to close the doors quietly behind her. Without any hesitation, she made her way up the set of stairs directly across the foyer. At the top, she turned right, clearly acquainted with the layout of the building.
Near the end of the hall, she stopped and approached the only classroom with an open door. Moonlight streamed through the tall windows lining the wall across from the door, leaving only the outline of a masculine figure pensively standing in front of them. Alone in the dark, he seemed to be admiring the stillness of the night.
The girl grabbed a combat knife off her belt, cringing when it clanged against its hook. Startled, the figure at the window turned to her. His expression gave her the impression that he was shocked, but somehow not surprised.
Letting out a frustrated sigh at having lost the element of surprise, the girl ran, lunging at him with her weapon. Tackling him to the floor, she wound up to strike, but the figure shoved her to the side. With a growl, the girl wrestled him to the floor until she was on top again, still unable to land a blow. She struggled against him, the two of them rolling into desks and chairs, breathing heavily. Then, both of them vanished into thin air, the room suddenly becoming silent.
However, they reappeared only moments later, both the girl and the figure crying out and grunting as they fought each other. They continued to appear and disappear sporadically, each reappearance smearing red onto the grayish final as the girl managed to slash at the figure. Finally, the girl reappeared in the room alone. Her chest heaved in and out with fatigue as crimson dripped from the blade of her knife in thick splotches.
In the new stillness, the sound of pounding footsteps echoed down the hallway outside the room. In only moments, a second figure burst into the room.
“Si–!” he gasped in surprise when he saw the girl.
“Hello,” she smirked, disappearing again as soon as she had spoken. In an instant, she rematerialized behind the figure in the doorway, striking at the back of his neck with the butt of her knife. Instantly, he crumpled to the ground, only inches away from the bloody smears on the floor.
“Sorry,” the girl smiled. Wiping some of the blood on her knife onto the figure’s jacket, she then slipped the weapon into the figure’s bare hand before smacking her own gloved hands together.
“Progress report?”
The girl raised a finger to her ear. “It’s done. I hope you realize what you’ve just started.”
“I do.”
“Anything else, Director?” she asked.
“No, I believe that’s enough for one night. Well done, Ashe. Report back immediately for debriefing.”
“Of course, Director Kramer,” she nodded, disappearing one final time.
StoryCloset 